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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Heartfelt Efficiency's LiveJournal:
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| Sunday, November 27th, 2011 | | 10:52 pm |
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you have to make a STA ND | | Friday, November 18th, 2011 | | 12:58 pm |
Hype-Now-Spin
"We saw that we could change history itself, and even the future, by seeing it differently.
"History itself is spin. Events are only real in the present sense - before they happen they're hype, and after they happen they're spin. The real substance of an event - if there even is any such thing - is inconsequential without pre-promotion and post-reportage. A rave is more about the flyers and the folklore than it is about the party; and the human condition is more about future expectations and historical interpretation than anything else. Human evolution is just the give-and-take between hype and spin.
"Propaganda and consciousness are the same thing."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ " 'The mind-control propaganda machine of the historically evil Malthusian empire has gotten so effective that it is now working against its own controlling agenda. They have done so much test marketing, surveillance, and deconstruction of the group mind in order to manipulate it that their own techniques have ended up serving to enhance rather than stifle the will of the people they were hoping to dominate.' "
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" 'That's why Christianity absorbed the pagan gods, solstice trees, communion ritual, candles, and altars. The religion was paganized, as it were, and thus made more populist as it mutated in order to assimilate the beliefs of indigenous peoples. Propaganda turned back on them. They became their own hype.' "~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You can't even play it like Gandhi or King did - that passive-aggressive stance merely forces the oppressor to accept his own dominating posture. Martyrdom proves rape. No, if you can't beat 'em, make them think you've joined 'em, but hold onto the faith that they've really joined you." "Which is why, for me, Lauren ended up being the perfect fit. She's a woman. The otherness is built in. If you want to evolve the species, just pick a person with whom you'd like to mix genes and try to get along with her.
"All the boys and their toys and their wars and their propaganda were built to play this thing out on a societal level. Making love as individuals just wasn't enough. They had to believe their multimillennial investment in the ideological war was worth something, so they orchestrated their big fuck at the end of time. The hype meisters and the spin doctors together work to hallucinate a world where this can happen.""Duncan and Harman think they've really done it, but my guess is the battle will go on forever in one form or another. The counter-culture can never truly win, or it won't be the counterculture anymore, will it?" "So I guess I was just selfish in the end. I wanted to experience the whole universe, and I finally found a way to do it. Marriage, a kid, a house, and a job. I guess everyone else is going to have to look after themselves from now on." ~ ~ "We saw that we could change history itself, and even the future, by seeing it differently." -Ecstasy Club by Douglas Rushkoff Current Mood:  chilly | | Friday, November 4th, 2011 | | 12:28 am |
Love
Love is The fire Of my mountain of failures Upon which I lay My aching body All I imagine About myself Laden with fear and pain On their way to God They have turned To ashes What from the jumble of thoughts What from my flesh, blood, ligaments My bones Rises up Shines from angel’s eyes Screaming from the insides Of all existence Love is The fire Of my mountain of failures The heart places my body In its midst Hafiz | | Monday, October 24th, 2011 | | 10:34 pm |
(no title except something different)
don't be so sensitive "don't take it personally" I think to myself. How am I not supposed to take it personally? I need to keep a day planner, or something like that. I need to stop writing To-do lists on scraps of paper, only to be lost, considered ephemeral, and wasted. It's so difficult to write the way I once wrote on livejournal. I feel like I have so much more to lose (a la, the need for a day planner.) That, or I just don't have the same mind I did in my LJ hey-day of 6-7 years ago. I felt like I had something to say. I felt like a writer. I felt like my words had meaning. Yet, now, the most meaningful writing I muster is criticized as too short sighted, or to difficult to write in the first place. The first of these writing losses is due to my own self-criticism, and then some. I'll get myself worked in to a state of mind where every word seems to hold essential meaning, and, indeed, while it might be a good mind state with which to apprehend powerful phrases, the accompanying side-effects over-throw the benefits as I begin to see every god-damned phrase as meaningful. Vivid vision at the expense of clouds around the edges. A sort of psuedo-focus, not fit for writing -- at least not anymore. Well, this writing is somewhat of an example, but I feel an itch about writing this, so I don't put too much stock in this last sentence, and feel like deleting it for lack of merit. This is good. Moving on... The other sort of writing, the undone "too difficult" writing generally pertains to writings that require research and self-editing, such as my liberal arts essays from college past, or fucking cover letters from the present situation. If I was qualified for the jobs that are available in my area, I'd feel a lot less... unmotivated to spend my days off and slivers of "free time" relentlessly (...) creating and modifying cover letter content. Fucking cover letters... I bet if my resume had more to show for itself, I'd feel a lot more confident in whatever the Fuck my cover letter said. It's just.. if I feel like I have a genuine shot at the job, I take for god-damn ever trying to perfect my cover letter. My free time for a whole week seems to go to that fucking letter and resume. And then HA! ...I don't get the job. So then, for these jobs that I likely am out-gunned and can't compete in getting, I feel like doing some crazy cover letter, all in-your-face and without any chance of getting it (since I didn't have one anyway) but "hey I did a cover letter... I'm not wasting my time." The last sentence that I just wrote gave me a bad feeling, and I'm quite tempted to delete it. Okay, I will. Psyche! Haha, fuck you. Okay, I'm being a bit hard on myself. Maybe I'm thinking too low of myself, and maybe for every minute I spend not filling out a no-chance job application, I'm WORKING to develop the skill(s) I need for the job I want the most. Fuck. Who am I... kidding. Did I even go into the right field? Library Science? Maybe the jobs don't appeal to me as much as my Masters degree has not fully qualified me for them... Maybe I'm just not motivated.... although, I have noticed that when I am more-or-less "fully qualified" for a position, and it's nearby, I'm pretty quick to jump-up-and-down about it -- fill out the necessary paperwork and then start fantasizing (er, planning) about what I'll have to do if I get the job... the new challenges, the change of driving, hours, day-to-day life, job experience... but then I don't get the job, and it stinks. I haven't applied to many professional jobs.... and I have been interviewed for even less... fuck... I had bad experiences writing cover letters to perfection, only to get rejected or put through the ringer of nervousness at some dead-end interview. Fuck. I know I need to practice. (PRACTICE PRACTICE, FUCKING PRACTICE.) I know I need to get "in the swing of" going to interviews, as well as writing cover letters, and even learning new skills. I need to volunteer, or shadow some library workers, or just start doing tutorials on web design... whatever the fuck. (but) in the meantime, I'm just WORKING, and coming home. WORKING, and coming home. As the cars break down, as the bills keep coming, and as my god-almighty loan bill taps it foot right around the corner (ready to drain my already-dwindling bank account before I beg for loan deferment) ( !!!! ) I just work and then hope that better work just falls all squishy and loving into my lap...good chance in hell, poncho-honcho ding-dong. When am I going to learn? Hah, I just stopped "learning" after 7 years of nearly continuous higher education, and now... now. i feel like i'm learning something. (having to face myself at the deepest core... one that was never reached in grades and schools. one that people reach in boot camp, or intense events, or proper training... or something like that. Fuck. I. Give. Up. Okay, I don't really. I'm still in it. "In it to win it." Whatever it is. My future? The future that I desire? The future that I foresee if what I want is enabled through my actions and will? Fuck, getting what I want has never been so hard. I'm challenged in a way that I have never been challenged before, and it's demanding a change in me. Yes I have changed a lot since the early days of my livejournal writing, but one thing is for sure, I learned a few good lessons back then, and I hope I have now.) | | Thursday, October 20th, 2011 | | 11:32 pm |
i remember when i'd post on here... with almost no double-checking, no sel-fediting.... okay, well i didn't post like this much for a good dreason... but I did something pretty close to it! I basically developed the ability to think about an awesome idea about the same time that i typed it. [to be continued...] | | 11:29 pm |
The Best Place 2(not)B
she keeps her concessions wisely-made, the many there are be careful with. and I ? the cold-spoken bo-he-moth . . . afro-aid to save face . . . none of the time? I should be teaching free computer software and hardware usage techniques. I just thought of this today. (I say to myself and the self-consciousness of sharing anything with anybody else on the world wired web-you'll-us. "Yeah? SAY...") HEARTS HEARTS HEARTS <333 <<< what >>> we are dealing With HERE. | | Monday, September 26th, 2011 | | 10:46 pm |
| | Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011 | | 8:14 pm |
random punch lines
somebody's gotta index the net and try pinning a moving target. how about a co-creation station. | | Thursday, August 11th, 2011 | | 10:40 am |
| | Thursday, July 7th, 2011 | | 11:00 am |
| | Monday, July 4th, 2011 | | 12:33 pm |
FINALLY
Exercise Hurts! Like Spinach is Bitter. ~~~ So I guess that Music goes with Exercise like Nuts & Berries go with Spinach! AHH! OHH!! | | Friday, July 1st, 2011 | | 1:52 pm |
| | Friday, June 24th, 2011 | | 7:53 pm |
The feeling of being layed off or having hours massively cut.
PANTERA - THE UNDERGROUND IN AMERICA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Yuq_btOBfQ[Initial song of frustration that I repealed from posting to Facebook and thought to post here, which lead to the following explanation...] --------------- Even though the shift cut had nothing to do with the person working them (see: "nothing personal"), this is the first time I've felt that "knocked-down" feeling, and it is difficult to keep content with the scheduling-bosses. My countenance comes from the fact that most of my shifts happen to be "peak hours" or "extra person & fill-in" shifts. I was hired for them, not because they easier, but because I inherited the available hours. Apparently, these hours or more dispensable than others. I heard that all library aide staff in the department will get cross-trained so they can fill-in and back-up understaffed the work areas when necessary, thus eliminating the need for extra persons -- for "peak hours" shift workers. (Maybe I'll even be cross-trained.) I can understand that. But I wonder why the shift cuts were not spread out around various staff, thus lessening lessening the burden on any specific individual. (And Thus saving my ass.) Maybe I didn't get new shifts to replace lost hours because my availability is limited. (Or maybe it's because they were lazy, or they thought shifting more people's hours to spread out the cuts would frustrate more people than necessary.) I'll have to ask, but it's intimidating because I have a new scheduling-boss with whom I'm less acquainted. And really, am I going to ask "why didn't you spread out the cuts more?" Is it because of my scheduling constraints that you did not give me part of someone salvaged shifts? (I realize that you gave me those extra hours that one person needed to have filled in that one week.)" Then again I was late a few times, plus this shift losses will give me new opportunities. (I just wish I wasn't spending more "free time" fucking around with re-scheduling and sniffing out work hours. Hell, I'd like to do some important volunteering at the local library soon, maybe I'll just roll with that. Ah? Ah?) Don't start out like "I'm amazing!" and then, as you (so cleverly) said, "slip into sloppy scycles" ;-) --------------- This is all now deletable, because I read though, shared, and discussed its content. But then I went through it again, and it was still helpful. (I even edited it a little more.) It may be helpful again. (Hell, I may edit it again.) Peace. | | Sunday, May 29th, 2011 | | 1:01 pm |
Mtn Dulcimer in D-A-D
tune strings (2gather) slow down the wobble in the waves. Current Mood: hot-humid but soul-chilly daze | | Saturday, May 14th, 2011 | | 9:58 pm |
wut kinda shit u gonna gro demm roses wit | | Saturday, May 7th, 2011 | | 12:04 pm |
LIVE AND LET
"Feel the beet, but don't - over-heet!" Y'all (d)red meet. (where we meat) (that's who I beef) ...gotta get outside and cure this pain-in-teeth!!! | | Monday, May 2nd, 2011 | | 9:19 am |
Post: I'll put you here in Lj; For the sake of longevity and anyonymity---it's (more) for me, anyway
i.feel.crazy.. Last ([college] class) project of all time (for now) completed late-late last night... and maybe 3 hours of sleep? Dream of debate [at Kellogg Community College] with old friend [Travis Lavengood] about whether Earth is expanding or contracting; illumination from [tough but sweet female] security guard about the (shape of) shadows cast by galactic discs (when a [larger-than-the-disc] light source shines onto the disc) from various/different angles. . .. [you keep itching like this post is imperfect/incomplete. well, let it be; you have to get ready for work.] [no I mean it: stop coming back to this post... it's been edited enough... you have priorities, remember? priorities. Priorities! Dude, if you let some little itch on your right side set the stage for every little decision... look, you're not going to delete the post... okay, maybe you should... no: this is too good. Look at you talking to yourself.... it may look crazy, but it's kind of what journals are for -- "without the middle man" hah. Alright, I know I know: this isn't the elegant, happen-stance post you originally intended it to be... there's more reflection than source now -- but (the original expression [is itself a reflection of an event, and]) is not ruined; just expanded upon... like the light the shines a cone of radiance larger than the galactic disc -- large enough to make the disc's shadow look like a circle, or oval, or line ([? {that is, less of a line, and more of a really long oval... or maybe even a dumb bell, since there's more mass at the outer edge (assumed by unusually great particle speeds at the outer edge [you know, that fact that seems to have created the assumption of "dark matter', right?]) and... dammit, you're so zonked from lack of sleep, you're still writing this. stop! *he says outloud, but then realizes that by writing how he said "stop" out loud, he didn't actually stop as planned* ]). Current Mood: hail nips spring buds | | Sunday, March 13th, 2011 | | 12:23 pm |
(just delete it [post you just deleted] it's not your time or place) Current Mood: respect | | Friday, February 25th, 2011 | | 9:39 am |
Christian Warriors
God, Guns and... um.. GodGuns. (and for you blasTphemous polytheists... The GunGod!) [in other words... God is a Man with a Pistol in his Pants.] BULLSHIT. | | Sunday, February 13th, 2011 | | 11:05 am |
Concordance: "of One Heart-Mind"
Sunday, February 6th:
If religion is the opiate of the masses, does that make the Pope a drug czar? and is the street corner religious zealot still a shaman thru-and-thru? Sunday, February 13th:
...And my conscious says:
"Aww for Christ's sake: Drop the Religious shit!" |
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